Butterfly
Ray sat next to her, listening to her talk, watching the sun through her hair, which blonde and straight, seemed to glow. He smiled in silence to mother and daughter, talking and talking, the mother now and again centering her dark brown eyes upon him as she twisted a curl with her finger. Doris laughed at a remark by her daughter, teeth showing careful white and fine polish. She kept her gaze upon him, smiling, always smiling.
“It is a wonderful day.” Doris said. The comment hung limp in the summer heat and Ray felt no desire to respond. He smiled for her once more and remained silent. He watched his girlfriend and wondered to himself what she might be thinking.
Becky shuffled a deck of cards and began laying out a game of solitaire. Moments passed, a minute without any sound except of cards and birds. Ray leaned back in his chair and watched, looking from mother to daughter. Doris continued to finger her curls, running painted nails through hair dark brown. Her smile remained as she looked at him, her eyes full of questions and wonder.
“Tell me about your book, Ray.” She said. She sipped her lemonade and waited.
“I’m waiting for the galley proofs to be sent. You know, publishing stuff, quite tedious if you ask me.”
“I’m sure.” She said. Becky continued playing cards as if the two weren’t holding a conversation, indeed, as if they weren’t present at all.
“I’m just waiting for the day I can see my book, that’s all.” Ray said.
“When will that be?”
“Six months.”
Doris nodded understanding and sipped again on her lemonade. She crossed her legs, bare tanned thighs in his view, and leaned towards him.
“What type of advance did they give you?” She asked, with a wink.
“Mother.” Becky grunted.
“What is it now, darling?”
“I told you no talk about money today, ok? Can you do that for me?”
“I’m just asking him. If he doesn’t want to tell me, he doesn’t have to, darling.”
Becky got up from her chair, staring for a few moments at her mother and started walking towards the garden.
“Tell me when you are finished.” She said as she left.
Silence fell and Doris began swinging her leg, slow and steady, the red polish on her feet shining, her skin bronzed and glistening with sunblock. She ran fingers over one leg, staring out into the garden at her daughter.
“She is pretty, isn’t she?” This seemed to be more of a comment than a question.
“Indeed.” Ray answered. His glass remained untouched, drops of condensation slid slow and unnoticed onto the table.
Ray looked towards the garden, noticing how small Becky looked from a distance. He watched as she chased butterflies with a net, jumping on legs thin and pale, her skin a pearl white. She caught a butterfly in her net and laughed with joy. She swung the net in a circle, laughing and jumping and screaming at nothing.
“I’m sorry about the money talk, Ray. I want to be sure you’ll be able to take care of my daughter.”
Ray shrugged his shoulders and continued watching, not turning to face Doris. He took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and put one to his lips, lighting it without looking.
“You have to quit that filthy habit one of these days.” She said.
He nodded and took a drag, exhaling slowly in her direction. He watched her for a moment, seeing her legs swinging, coming close to his own.
“You went tanning.” He said.
“Yes. One simply must have the finer things in life.” She laughed and began telling him about her weekly beauty routine. He listened with waning interest, his thoughts on his book, more specifically on the advance he received.
“What was that?” He asked her, coming out of his reverie.
“I said this takes money.” She extended her hand in a sweeping motion from her hair to her feet.
“Money isn’t everything.” He said his eyes serious and dark.
“Darling, money is the only thing.” She said as she stood.
He remained silent for a moment, her statement settling in his stomach. He sighed and shook his head.
“Leaving?” He asked.
“I have to meet someone.” She turned and without further comment, walked towards the house.
Ray stood and walked slowly towards the garden, seeing Becky still swinging the net in circles, the butterfly still trapped. He stopped near her, watching. As she swung round, her shirt lifted, showing her stomach, flat and smooth white. He smiled and reached out to her.
“Becky.”
She turned to him, startled. She stopped her arm in mid-swing and placed it on the ground, the butterfly still trapped.
“I didn’t see you.”
He put his arms about her waist and pulled her against him.
“I wondered what you might like to do this evening.”
“Oh, I don’t know anything you want.” She said, her eyes bright shining, her hair light golden in the mid-afternoon summer sun.
“That is what you always say. Tell me what you want to do.”
She looked into his eyes and became silent for a moment, still in his arms.
“Really?”
“Of course, really.”
She laughed and clapped her hands with delight.
“Let's go to the carnival?” She asked.
He lowered his head, not pleased. He did not care for the carnival, much less in seeing her friends that were sure to be present.
“Why don’t you go with your friends?” He asked.
“I want to be with you, Ray. Why can’t you hang out with them more often?”
He sighed and looked down, seeing the butterfly trapped inside the net. He reached for the net, attempting to lift it from the ground.
“No, don’t.” She said. She grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her.
“Sorry.” He said.
“It’s ok. Just tell me you’ll spend tonight with me.”
“I want to, I really do. I just don’t want to be around your friends.”
She dropped her arms to her side and stamped her foot in anger.
“Why don’t you go with your friends to the carnival and then call me later?” He asked, searching for some middle ground to stand.
“Ray, you know I need to get up early tomorrow. I can’t stay up all night with you like last week.”
Ray turned and faced the house. He closed his eyes and tried to think of something to say, something to have it all make sense.
“Go to the carnival. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He said, his eyes remaining closed.
“Ok.” She answered.
“Can you just do me one favor?” He asked.
“What is it?”
“Let the butterfly free.” He said as he walked towards the house, not looking back at her. He heard her calling his name, but didn’t look back until he started his car. She stood in the garden, looking small and beautiful. She held out her hand and waved to him as he backed the car into the street. He drove in silence, until after some ten minutes, he said what he’d meant to say as he left her.
“Goodbye.”
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